Father Z's commentary is preserved because, frankly, it's hilarious.
Women’s Ordination Conference [WOC!] Decries Ban on Altar Girls in Phoenix Diocese
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: August 22, 2011
Contact: Erin Saiz Hanna, 202 675-1006, email@example.com
Women’s Ordination Conference Decries [A high dudgeon word if ever there was one.] Ban on Altar Girls in Pheonix Diocese [No... really. Pheonix, who was, I believe both one of their large puppets as well as a character with mottled skin in a Star Trek series.]
WASHINGTON, DC – August 22, 2011 – Girls will no longer be allowed to serve as altar servers during Mass at the cathedral of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Phoenix, SS. Simon and Jude. In response, Women’s Ordination Conference has issued an action alert [aaahWOOOOgah!] calling on the Diocese to immediately reinstate female altar servers in that parish. [More on this, below.]
“If young women in the Phoenix diocese want to grow up to work for the Church – or even aspire to the priesthood [not gonna happen] – I, and the vast majority of U.S. Catholics, don’t see the harm in that, said Erin Saiz Hanna, executive director of the Women’s Ordination Conference. [Because in the Catholic Church doctrine is determined by the number of people who believe something.] “Around the country, young women have been lawfully serving at the altar for well over a decade.” [More on this below.]
Reportedly, Rev. Lankeit banned girls from the altar because he wants only boys to prepare for priesthood in this way. [Hold on there. That is an assumption. Are they working from the newspaper article or did anyone from COW call the rector of the cathedral and ask him? It could be that he is also trying to follow what the Holy See said was the "preferable" practice. It is still permitted to obey Rome, no?] Since 1994, the Vatican and the U.S. Bishops have allowed female altar servers. There is no restriction in Canon Law for women to help at the altar during the liturgy. [And there is no right, either. There is, however, a tradition and clearly expressed preference in the Holy See's documents on the matter.]
“This is not only disgraceful, it is impractical. Women comprise at least 80 per cent of church lay ministers, and they are backbone of most parishes around the world,” continued Hanna. [Oh my! What is WOC going to do about the manifest discrimination against men filling these roles? JUSTICE! we must cry, JUSTICE!]
“The Vatican’s stance on the ordination of women is based on arguments that have been refuted time and again. [Refuted? Because WOC says so? Pfffft.] In 1976, the Vatican’s own Pontifical Biblical Commission determined that there is no scriptural reason to prohibit women’s ordination. [And there is no scriptural prohibition against slavery either. We can, in WOC-logic both ordain women and also enslave them.] Jesus included women as full and equal partners in his ministry, [ROLF! One of the dumbest things I have read in a looooong time. Hanna, read this carefully. NOBODY was Jesus "full and equal partner in His ministry". Jesus was Master and Lord. The greatest man born of women, John the Baptist, said he wasn't worthy to untie the Lord's sandal. The Mother of God said to listen to and obey her Son. The Apostles themselves had a hierarchy within their ranks and they only did what they did in Jesus' Name. Priests today are partners and collaborators with the bishops, but they are not exactly "full and equal" partners of the bishops. They have different roles.] and the hierarchy would do well to follow suit,” Hanna concluded.
So let's recap; the WOC, who are already bad enough for advocating the impossible (women's "ordination") and conducting fake ordinations of wymyn in defiance of Church authority, presume to lecture the Phoenix diocese on what to do with it's cathedral church. They ignore that it has been a long-standing tradition of using only males for altar servers, instead screaming "SEXISM! *sad face*.
Someone needs to remind these women what it really means to be Catholic. That means you are obedient to the Church in all matters of doctrine (including on the matter of women's ordination, as it is doctrine, not discipline, that women may not be ordained to the priesthood, not now, not ever), and you don't presume to lecture the bishop on every single matter just because you feel you can.
Readers, please offer prayers for these women.